the Farewell Begins

I sit here now on this comfortable front porch of the Forbes' household. The grand vistas down to the ocean are like soothing rhythms in my mind. For soon I know the view will change from the long horizontal lines to a weaving of vertical lines as I return home and where I look up at the Niagara Escarpment and down into 40 Mile Creek. It will be springtime and the leaves will have just begun to colour the stark branches of the maples, acacias and catalpas in my yard. The hemlocks and spruces will soon have other greens, yellows and reds to fill out this weaving of new life all around my eyes.

I am into the ritual saying of "this is the last....". It leaves me uneasy, confused and with an increasing sense of dislocation. How could I have begun to feel so at home in such a short time? How has this time with the people of the Bethel Circuit opened me into so many new perspectives and experiences? How will I be able to leave with grace?

I take some encouragement from my own feelings at last night's farewell worship service. Normally I'm a person who avoids accolades and such; yet there was something about the wonder of the people who stood up to share a story, a meaning in their life that somehow I was a part of. I sat and listened and laughed and cried. And through it all, I saw the hand of God. This was not about me. The celebration was a affirmation of the discovery of the presence of God among the people in many new ways. I heard courage and clarity; I saw confidence and compassion; I felt anticipation and wisdom. It was appropriate that I was leaving for it seems my laughter and challenges to dance with God in new ways in the world had been carried by the Spirit into the midst of the people of the Bethel Circuit. They had already begun to hold onto the Spirit differently. I needed to remove myself and not get into the way of their new dance.

I said goodbye in South District Methodist Church, the small, wonderfully warm congregation in a little village where I had my first worship service 13 weeks earlier. The women of the congregation gathered at the front and sang a hymn that I had taught them earlier that morning - We Shall Go Out With Hope of Resurrection. The tears well up just remembering that moment. Then they followed that hymn with a praise song where they pulled out their cymbals (tambourines) and before one knew it, everyone was up and clapping and singing and dancing. What joy!

Somehow saying goodbye in the Spirit is easier. It was also made easier for Rev. Paul Walfall blessed the communion chalice and platter that I had purchased in Barbados. He spoke beautifully about how I will use them in Canada and in doing so will bind the people of the Bethel Circuit in a unique way to the worshiping community in Canada. Such will be a unique expression of the Body of Christ.

The service was a deeply meaningful moment - one that affirmed again that we are merely instruments of the Holy One who moves us in and out of people to bind them into hope, to re-member them into the one people of God who can stand and face the forces of the world that seems determined to destroy the beauty that is life. With all these experiences and feelings and reflections and relationships embodied, it is time to begin the movement to the next place God has in mind for me. Ordination with The United Church of Canada as a Minister of Word, Sacrament and Pastoral Care will follow soon. Sophia has journeyed well with me here in Barbados!

beginning to say good-bye

wa


As the time for reflection and report writing increases daily it seems, I have also been making time to simply touch again those places and scenes that have nourished my soul. So today, I wish to invite you to simply share a little number of experiences...

As sugar cane cutting season draws to a close, I have been amazed at how many controlled fires there are on the island. The fields that I have been just cut are sometimes set on fire to burn off a noxious weed plant, called "cow-itch"(?) which can be very toxic if touched. So there are many days when the sky is filled with thick black smoke drifting across the island, blocking the sun temporarily and leaving residue on cars etc depending how close one is to the site of the burning. I can not help but wonder what effect this might have on those with respiratory illnesses. Yet, cane sugar is a fundamental component of the economic structure of this country. One day the fire was so close to the Forbes residence that I actually became concerned. Mary and I watched as the fire trucks came in just in case things got a little out of hand. Thankfully all was well but I was left with a sense of the panic that one would feel with a major forest fire looming on the horizon.

As I travel this country I have been constantly amazed at how similar many things are to my experiences of life in Southern Ontario. Perhaps it simply takes time to see beyond the palm trees and beaches and tourist places when one visits a country. Development in Barbados looks essentially like development on the fringes of any larger city. At the major crossroads, one is to find the gas station/fast food outlet combinations and the mall of course is just behind them with car dealers and lumber stores filling out the landscape. There is something to be said about the force of our globalization, a force that tries to make everything the same at least at its broad level.

Late last week I went back to Bats Rock Beach for a swim and some final reflections on a painting that I was asked to do as part of the internship review. It was early in the morning and the only other person on the beach was a man doing yoga. Just watching him made everything even more calm and centred. I swam, I thought, I wrote. And then I said goodbye to the place that had started much of my contemplations of how a people and a person can be strong and yet remain porous - an image that the coral rock of this Island had provided me with from the beginning of this journey.

Last Sunday I was asked to do a children's story with a congregation outside of the Bethel Circuit. The young preacher from South District had been assigned to preach at Hawthorne Methodist church. It was a Sunday when all the preachers from one circuit go and preach at another circuit on the Island. I did my demonstration of how God is in the world using Asian theologian Kosuke Koyama's image of a God that runs from the centre to the horizons to embrace those there and make them part of the centre (see his full message as presented in the 1998 World Council of Churches in Harare at http://www.wcc-coe.org/wcc/assembly/pth3-e.html. Many of the churches seem to be beginning their reflections of how to be the people of God in this new day of a challenging global Empire. Those are important places for all of us to struggle on how to understand God in different ways and how to understand ourselves in relation to the activity of God in the world. The people at Hawthorne enjoyed the demonstration with the children. I don't think I will ever forget using this as a way to open that critical discussion.

till next time...many blessings!

Life is good when thoughts and experiences mesh into a fabric that becomes stronger each day.