This n' That

Well the journey is certainly moving to a different place where once again I am acutely aware that I'm neither fully here nor anywhere. It is to be expected and I am giving myself permission to be sad and happy at the same time and not think there is something wrong. That is healthy for me! It is to be expected because I'm in the midst of putting together my presentations and meetings relating to the outreach ministry component that I've been asked to nurture with Vauxhall and South District Methodist churches. That is very much a looking here and looking forward exercise. I am also trying to write my final internship evaluation report which is taking much contemplation of what I have experienced when I look back over the time here in Barbados. And thirdly, I am in the midst of my settlement process praying that I will have a church to go to when I get home which then means that I will also be able to be ordained. There have been brief moments where I have begun to think about how do I now walk into a 3 year ministry with a new community of faith? Backwards and forwards and in the moment all at once!

So today I can share just snippets of 2 experiences with no particular flow or profoundness other than they each are embedded in my being. Last Tuesday I granted myself a day off knowing that I would be working through the entire weekend. Decided to revisit Crane Beach on the east coast which I had seen when my daughter and sister came to visit. I was able to find myself in a totally secluded spot and settled down for some meditation and writing and painting. The seclusion was twofold - away from all the people and protected from the pounding waves by rocks that created a temporary sandy knoll before the tides rose enough to transform the space into a shallow pool. The time spent here was of total embodiment of sensations.

First was the sound of the waves crashing and the thunder of boulders pounding against each other with the force of the waves. Yet I remained protected. Second was the sheer force of nature against nature in the sculpting of rock by wind and water - it made me aware of my own puniness in the face of eternal force - that's not to say that I had a sense of insignificance, just a recognition of the sheer power, might and awe of creation as an expression of God. An awareness that in the face of this awesome power, humankind still tries to tame and control what is often seen as chaos and unpredictable (notice the human structure at the top of this rock edifice on the right). I contemplated more those notions of God being in that which our humanness experiences as chaos.

As I lay in the sand, my eyes were closed letting my skin absorb all the sensations. My fingertips became alive as I touched gently and forcefully the very warm grains of ancient rhythms. I was acutely aware of the periodic lapping of cool water on my legs and offered a distinct counterpoint to the hot grains of sand at my fingertips. Time disappeared for awhile. At some point the cool lapping water all around me alerted me to the increasing tide. Though the developing small pool continued to refresh me I also knew it was time to relocate my canvas and paints to dry ground. When I accomplished that task, I returned to my haven and began to notice how the currents of water were moving. At times water came from one direction and flowed almost unabated through the hollow creating shimmers that delighted my eye. Yet with the next waves, water flowed from several directions and when they met there was turbulence and force. The movements were full of energy in one moment and then within a few more moments, a flow was reestablished and the chaos dissipated and the sand remained seemingly like before. Other times the same flows of water met and where previously they had created turbulence, this time they weaved into each other and created a strong more purposeful flow among the grains of sand and rocks. With these images vividly before me I began a long time of journaling on how we people of God seem to be like those waves and all of their possibilities. How sometimes we shimmer, sometimes we create chaos and sometimes we create beauty and purpose from the differences that merge. Where is holiness in all of these?

After journaling and then painting, it was time to go for a swim to cool off. That required a hike to the other side of the shoreline to Crane Beach itself that is towered by the spectacular Crane Hotel and some private properties. Swimming was next to impossible for the waves had continued to increase and the undertow was noticeable. The water was still refreshing. This trek to the populated part of the beach also made me aware of the gift that I had been given that afternoon - a pure gift of time alone with Sophia (Spirit).

The rest of the week was focused on getting ready for my presentations. Yesterday (Friday) I attended the last day of the Vacation Bible School that the Circuit had been running during this extended Easter break (extended because of the World Cricket Cup games that has brought thousands of extra tourists onto the Island). It was a delightful hour and I was so very touched by the number of children from Vauxhall Methodist church who came running to me to give me a hug. Ahhh...children are wonderful!!!! The exuberance and noise were equally wonderful but perhaps more for me having just entered the space than the leaders who had been working with the 80+ number of children over the last week or so. As I sign off for now, let me just share some of these children with you......